Reaching for help when the feeling takes over and begins to control the mind.
I had recently been laid off from work and was going through a deep financial crisis. My mind kept imagining the possibility of becoming homeless. Exactly ten days after losing my job, at around 1:30 in the morning, my body suddenly went into a panic attack. My entire body began shaking uncontrollably.
As my body shook, I felt like some overpowering force had taken control of my mind. Strong and vivid images began appearing in my head. I saw my wrists bleeding, almost as if something was telling me to do it just to make the mental anguish stop.
One of the hardest parts about emotional pain is the feeling of being completely alone in the world, feeling as though nobody can come save you. Whether that feeling is real or not, in that moment it feels real.
I was not entirely alone in my apartment. My roommate was asleep in the next room. Then another image entered my mind: an ambulance removing my body while the neighborhood watched. Worse, I imagined the police suspecting my roommate of harming me. That thought shook me deeply. I also wondered what would happen to him if I were gone.
Part of me snapped out of the spiral, but I still felt like I could not breathe. My entire being felt overwhelmed with pain. I then called 988 and spoke with someone on the hotline.
The operator’s voice was calm, gentle, and reassuring. She helped guide me through the crisis.
What surprised me most was that 988 followed up with me afterward. The next morning around 10:00 a.m., they called to check if I was okay. They contacted me two more times after that. They genuinely cared about my well-being.
During the second call, they gave me information and resources focused on preventing self-harm and helping me stabilize emotionally. During the third call, they provided even more helpful guidance and support.
I am grateful for the way they helped me through such an extreme mental crisis. I remember thinking how fortunate I was that Gonzalo Duran had once mentioned the 988 service to me. I honestly believed I would never need it, or that something like this could never happen to me.
But it did.
And in that moment, having someone answer the phone helped save my life.
If anyone is going through severe emotional pain or mental anguish, do not be ashamed to ask for help. There are people who genuinely care, and moments like these are reminders that we are never truly alone.
Reach out. Ask for help.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, emotional distress, or thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Support is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and you do not have to go through it alone.
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